The female sexual organ, have you seen it?
A trip to vulvaland
More than 3.5 million people have watched the vagina-video* I’ve bumped into one of these days: grown up women who have never seen what’s in between their legs, but now had the chance to take a closer look at vulvaland. Crazy, isn’t it?
“The man’s best friend, the finest part of my body” – that’s what men call their penis. They’ve known everything about it since they were young boys, and I guess there is no guy in the developed world who does not know the proper size of his dick. It doesn’t matter whether they are construction workers or university professors, live below the poverty line or make millions, their cock is a centre of their universe. “Twenty centimeters, royal size”, they say if they have the basis for it, whereas those under fourteen often turn into football hooligans and/or aggressors.
Even as a teen, I’ve always wondered: do they measure it with a ruler, or they rely on mere guesswork? Is it enough to take measurements at the end of puberty, perhaps around 18-21, or is it necessary to check the system every once in a while? Anyways, men’s sexuality is obvious from the start, and the male sexual organ is a symbol of pride, beauty and power. Starting from cave paintings through folk art to contemporary creations, phallic symbols remind us of creativity, creation, conquering force, and are always the aim of the process, never a mere tool to serve the goal (or put a happy smile on a woman’s face, god forbid).
Women, on the other hand, have a very different relationship with their vagina. As you can see it in the above-mentioned video – and experience it when you talk to women a bit more confidentally – several women do not even feel the need to take a look at their private parts. It’s there, it’s working, and that’s it. No need to know more. And there are several women who are even slightly disgusted by their velvet purse. The famous book and play Vagina Monologues sets light on this perspective, too: most women simply lack a proper relationship with the area between their legs. The average woman is, in fact, in a constant worry about the shape, color, hairstyle and smell of it: while third-world countries have an extensive history of female genital mutilation, the western world offers plastic surgery to those unhappy with their sexual organ. The message is clear: it’s not okay the way it is. Even if you have no clue what your vagina should be like, we have a clear vision of it.
“Oh, it’s much more innocent than I thought it would be…” – one of the women bursts out. “The first guy I slept with told me that it was the most disgusting thing he has ever seen…” – another chick points out, then succumbs to the fact that hey, it’s not that bad, actually. “Now I feel so much better…” – she adds in the end, and I’d love to hug her tight. The American gynecological clinic Women’s Therapy Center lists the reactions of women who see their thing for the first time with the help of a special mirror… and most of them are stunned as they have never looked this deep into themselves. Several women are shocked or even afraid to do so, actually.
The vagina is indeed not just a mysterious, invisible place, but it even appears to be a bit scary at times. It enables human beings the deepest connection, and happens to be the path to life itself: that's the first road we cross when we are born into this world. Howe come we don't talk more about it? Why don't we have more words to describe it? Why don't we know its anatomy better? Why do we handle all functional disorders and diseases linked to it as a taboo? Why is its ability to reach orgasm something to measure a man's productivity with? Why is it a shame if it's into sex, and why is it equally shameful if it's not? Why are thousands of women – what is more, even men – arguing about the importance of vaginal birth, as if this was the only way to true womanhood?
Just imagine standing in front of the mirror, and knowing it's beautiful. The way it is. Just because it's ours. And it's wanted, desired, loved and pampered. But no, this is an external thing, perhaps we should get started somewhere else, just by loving it because it's a gate to our innermost selves. Do we have the will and courage for all this?